me when i eat fruits: i'm so fucking healthy

1nd2rd3st:

ridge:

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed 

495,571 people whose mama taught them right

textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

mydogsnokes:

o yea the 90s. the 90s were great. fuckin sick. raw as hell. learning how to speak. crying for no reason. shitting in my diaper

officialfrenchtoast:

cool date idea:

1. come over to my place with your dog

2. leave your dog

3. go home

spunkydads:

the problem with rich people is that i am not one

elise white